Saturday, December 1, 2007

Wait.
What?
Is this what this feels like?
Like my world has just… fallen
What will I do?
When will he realize
That he's acting so… dumb?
Dumb?
Is that the right word?
I wouldn't call it smart
No, I would never call it smart.
Definitely not smart.
But dumb?
Inconsiderate?
Out right terrible?
No, he didn't mean to hurt me.
But he did.
He hurt me in a way I'd never been hurt
Before

Wait.
What?
What am I supposed to do?
Is it all right to cry?
I've never done this before.
They said I should be angry.
But I'm not.
Am I?
I know I'm scared
A little confused too.
Yes.
Definitely confused
You have this happen
Then tell me if it makes sense.
He told me that we would be together forever.
But we're not.
And we won't.

Wait.
What?
What about my life?
Shouldn't I have a say in it
Too?
Where did it go?
All my control?
Where did my control over
My life…go?
How can I get past this
This- thing
Without some control
Over my life?
Please don't do this
"It already happened," he tells me
But I'm begging you
Now.
Please.
Please don't.

I'm leaving now.
I'm leaving this all behind.
Far, far behind
I don't need you anymore
I can't need you anymore.
There are others who love me
Love me forever
They say it
And mean it.
You mean nothing
You are nothing
So
I'm leaving this.
I'm getting past this.
Goodbye.

Wait.
What?
Who is this boy
That he makes me smile?
I haven't felt this since-
No.
Yes.
That's what I feel.
But what about-
Nope.
That's what I feel.
Wow.
I mean WOW.
Is he- no.
He can't be- yes.
Yes he is.
He's smiling at me.
Could he possibly be interested?
But what about-
No.
He's gone.
He's done.
He's dumb.
This is now.
He is now.
He is yum.
Hmm
I like yum.
Yum likes me.
This is…
Better.
Good.
Life.

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