Friday, February 27, 2009

"Demain, Des L'aube" et le cinque stade du chagrin

J’étais en classe quand mon père a appelé moi. « Brandon est l’on qu’amènerai moi, oui ? » j’ai demandé. « Kacey, » il a dit, « Grand-père Phillips a tombé mort. » « Quoi ? » « Grand-mère a trouve il à ses lit. » « Quoi ? » j’ai répété. « Ce n’est pas vrai. Il ne peut pas vrai ! Il est sain, les docteurs ont dit nous qu’il est sain ! » Ma corps a commencé trembler, et j’ai pleuré comme je ne pleurais pas avant. Mes amis sont entouré moi, et les sont donné moi les étreintes. « Ça va, Kacey, ça va, » mon ami Robert à dit. « Il serait à ma mariage ! » j’ai crié. Robert à parle « il y sera. »
Aujourd’hui, il me manque, mais je ne pleure plus. Je pleure pour longtemps, mais pas plus. Est-ce que ça va ? Quelle type de pensée suit c’expérience ? Je pense que le poème « Demain, Dès L’Aube » dessine une bonne peinture de cet exemple.
Le poème commence avec le matin. « Demain, dès l’aube, à l’heure où blanchit la campagne. » (p. 119). Il me rappelle le choque première quand tu découvris un cher est mort. C’est le commencement du processus. Il n’y a pas espace pour un grande range d’émotions. Vous ne sentez rien ; vous regardez et vous écoutez. Vous ne savez pas quoi faire. Tout vous savez est que il n’est pas vrai.
Le deuxième stade de chagrin est colère. Si vous fâchez contre la personne, ou cette situation, vous serez colère. Je pense le poème saute cet émotion, et continue à le troisième stade : négocie. Victor Hugo négocie avec Dieu et sa fille pour l’occasion voir encore fois. « J’irai par la forêt, j’irai par la montagne. Je ne puis demeurer loin de toi plus longtemps. » (p. 119). Victor Hugo supplie avec Dieu, sa fille, et avec nature. Son sentier, son travail, est un testament de son empressement faire quoi est nécessaire. Il veut la voire. Il a besoin voir.
Le quatrième stade est dépression. La deuxième strophe illustrait cette émotion parfaitement. « Je marcherai les yeux fixés sur mes pensées [.] » Un symptôme de dépression est l’obsession avec vos pensées. Vous vivez en votre tête parce que le monde n’est pas quoi vous voulez. C’est un mécanisme de défense : dans votre monde, tout est sur votre control. Control est la chose qu’on a besoin pour garder son équilibre.
« Sans rien voir au dehors, sans entendre aucun bruit/ Seul, inconnu, le dos courbe, les mains croisées/ Triste, et le jour pour moie sera comme la nuit. » Dans cette strophe, on senti l’intensité de ce situation. Rien n’est important pour lui ; la seule chose qu’est important est elle. Son corps illustre la dépression avec « le dos courbe, les mains croisées. » (p. 119). Et il, encore, dessine une grande peinture pour nous quand il comparé ses émotions avec le jour.
Le final stade est acceptation. Dans la finale strophe, Victor Hugo accepte la perte de sa fille. Il accepte que la fille soit morte. « Et quand j’arriverai, je mettrai sur ta tombe/ Un bouquet de houx vert et de bruyère en fleur. » (p. 119). Il prend action dans cette idée montrer son acceptation. MAIS, il y a un thème d’espérance. J’aime cette idée. Il sait et accepte qu’elle est mort, mais il a l’espérance qu’il la verra un jour. Le thème d’espérance est dans l’entier poème. « Je partirai. Vois-tu, je sais que tu m’attends. » C’est un phrase d’espérance !
J’écoutais quand mon père lis son histoire, j’ai su que je serrais avec mon grand-père un jour. J’ai accepté le fait qu’il était mort. Mais, ce n’était pas un mal chose ; il était une bonne chose parce qu’il vit dans la mon cœur et dans les éternités toujours. Ma grand-mère avait cette connaissance, et elle n’était pas triste : elle avait l’espérance. Je vive avec espérance.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Avant je finis...

We had to make a "Bucket List" for my Family Recreation class. I keep misplacing the list, so I've decided to post it on here. Don't laugh, okay? And these are in no particular order... it's just as I thought of them, I wrote them down.

1. Go sky diving
2. Fall in love and stay in love
3. Get married
4. Sing in front of a large audience
5. Learn to Hula dance
6. Sleep in a castle
7. Get kissed in the rain
8. Have children-- adopting can fulfil this one
9. Go on a trail ride that is longer than three days
10. Go to the Azores
11. Write a Poem in French
12. Compose a song
13. Go to every temple in California
14. Use my French in a francophone country
15. Make creme-brule
16. Read all of Madeline L'Engle's books
17. Publish a book
18. Scuba dive
19. Serve a mission-- before or after I get married
20. Go to the Sacred Grove
21. Go to the Holy Land
22. Swim in the Mediterranian Sea
23. Learn to play the guitar
24. Read the entire Book of Mormon in French
25. Crochet a blanket
26. Sew a patchwork quilt
27. Go to my sisters' weddings
28. Go to India
29. Own a Sari
30. Go on a cruise
31. Build a snowcave
32. Have a garden
33. Have an orange tree
34. Go snowshoeing
35. Dance in the rain/ snow
36. Swim with my clothes on
37. Go to the Louvre
38. Ride an elephant
39. Go dog sledding
40. See Monet's gardens
41. Learn a Native American dance
42. Own a handgun
43. Memorize EVERY scripture mastery
44. Go to Scotland
45. Throw a pot
46. Learn to skateboard
47. Own a kilt
48. Have Haggis
49. Sew Easter Dresses for my daughters
50. Have real cajun crawfish.
51. Own an opal ring
52. Go to Abbey Lane

That's all so far.

Friday, February 20, 2009

I don't care what anyone else says...

I've never been one for diamon rings. Even when I was engaged, I wasn't too fond of the rock. For over a year now I've been going through an opal phaze (it's my birthstone). So, after looking through some of the rings a coworker was looking at for his fiancee, I decided to look for myself: yes, that is how bored I was at work yesterday. And I've decided: I really want an Opal ring. Whether it's for my engagement ring, or just because I'm special and deserve an opal ring, I want one. Bad.

Apparently Australia's money is worth less than ours because as I looked around on Ebay, I saw that the currency conversion is in my favor. Why is that relevant? Opal is Autralia's national stone. I still have the blue one Grandma bought for the mom's one year. And let me say, after doing some research, the Aussie's know their Opals.

Speaking of research, did you know there are like fifteen BILLION different colors of Opals? There are red ones and green ones and blue ones and pink ones and black ones... oh heavens, they are pretty. And cheaper than diamonds. Yay!

So, if you ever want to spoil me, or make me happy, or give me monetary love, give me a little sparkly thing like this:

P.S.- My ring finger size is 4 1/2, if anyone was wondering... or if anyone EVER asks...

Monday, February 16, 2009

St. Valentine's Day

I completely expected my V-day to be horrible. But all in all, a good day!

It really started the day before when Daddy called me and told me to buy some flowers and candy and send the bill to him. I went to the Plant Shop on campus because I wanted a potted plant and not a vase... I've been wanting a potted plant for a while.... I saw the most BEAUTIFUL arrangement of tulips (my absolute FAVORITE flowers!!), daffodils and hyacinth and it called my name.... Kacey... Kacey... you know you want to take us home!!! So I did. Here are the flowers that Dad bought me:

Pretty, right? Yeah, I thought so. (He has good taste, what can I say?)

My V- day activities continue the next morning as me and my roommates went swimming (As usual), then my whirly girls went on a sleigh ride with the ward... I didn't feel up to getting exposure, and I really just wanted to read my book and nap. So I did. I talked to Pam (yay!) and then had a great friend-date.

We had a pizza bakeoff. Benjamin was in IF judging a contest so he was running a little late, but it was fun anyway! Justin and Kaeli made the REAL pizza, and I (Benjamin was used for inspiration since he couldn't make it there yet) made the dessert pizza. We got some pictures of the process, but we didn't end up getting too many pictures of the pizza-- we devoured them!

This is Benjamin, Me, Justin and Kaeli after the first pizza was pretty much demolished. You can almost see my fruit pizza behind me, but it's okay. I'm glad it got eaten too fast to get a good picture.

Here's me and Benjamin chattin after dinner... probably about boys... it's what we do.

Later that night, since it was Beck's 21st birthday, we had virgin margarita's and daquiries. I totally had a margarita-- salt on the rim and everything!! All the pictures from that are on Beck's camera, who isn't my roommate, so you'll have to deal with my "hangover" picture. I had just woken up from a nap after church, and I thought the blender with two straws in it as well as quesadilla's (which I have been told make GREAT hangover food) made it look like the perfect scene.

So that was my weekend so far. Awesome, right?

Friday, February 13, 2009

Friday night's alright for... depression??

So, I've noticed a pattern in my Friday nights: they get me down. Unless I'm out with a boy (which happens more than it used to), I'm sitting in my apartment, unable to figure out why I'm so sad. I have one theory, but you'd honestly think that after two years the winter semester would stop reminding me of ... well, you all know. I don't have to say it.

I'm getting that "I don't have a direction" feeling again. I had it last winter and it nearly killed me. I had amazing friends and relief society presidencies, and my testimony grew like crazy. But something's off this semester... and I can't figure it out.

I wonder-- will I ever reach a point in my life when I'm perfectly content and know exactly where I'm going for longer than a day? Or will I always be at an impasse with things? I'm kinda in the middle of starting to date a boy, and I'm going to have a second interview for a job I really REALLY want. The hard thing about both of these is that I really want them. I like this boy, but I'm not entirely sure what's going on. I want this job uber bad, but I'm afraid that they'll reject me after a second interview. I guess it all boils down to one thing: I'm afraid to get my hopes up. I've learned through some very drastic experiences that just because you want something and it seems to be happening/ working, doesn't mean it's going to be. Just because he asks to hold your hand doesn't mean he wants to date you. Just because they ask to meet with you again means they've made their desicion. Just because he gives you a ring and asks you to marry him, doesn't mean he will. And just because He tells you to prepare for a mission, doesn't mean He's going to let you go.

Just because....


Wednesday, February 11, 2009


Est-ce que bon être stupide et contente ? Peut-être. Société pense les chrétiens ont contente est stupide. Ils pensent que nous ne connaissons pas la vérité, et nous croyons avec cécité. Et est-ce que vrai ? Non, pas pour notre église. Les prophètes disent nous étudier les commandements avec foi, et apprendre pour nous-mêmes. L’église n’aime pas ignorance, et elle encourage nous apprendre tout de choses.

Rousseau et Emile ont comme le Dieu et nous. Rousseau ne donne pas Emile la réponse immédiatement. Il demande Emile découvrir la solution. Rousseau aide Emile, mais Emile est le gens responsable pour résoudre le problème. Dieu aide les gens avec les problèmes, mais Il demande le travail de la part des hommes.

Je pense que j’écrirais ma 2me essaie sur le texte du Rousseau. Je suis très passionnait cela, et il y aurait beaucoup de chose écrire.

Qu'est-ce que tu pense?

Sunday, February 1, 2009

j'ai besoin une sieste...

I already took one. But I want another.


This picture is for you, Tora.