You had a way so familiar,
But I could not recognize,
Cause you had blood on your face;
I had blood in my eyes.
But I could swear by your expression
That the pain down in your soul
Was the same as the one down in mine.
I love that song. It's not accurate in a lot of places, but this stanza just gets me every time. Especially that last line- "That the pain down in your soul was the same as the one down in mine." What an amazing idea!
Anyway. Lots of thoughts lately. Some interesting things happening. FIRST! I had two answers to prayers given. THe same day. Faith works guys :)
The other night, two nights ago in fact, I dreamt about an old friend. We never dated, but we both thought about it. We'd talked a bit here and there about maybe going forward. But I came to the sad realization that though he was wonderful, I was not the girl for him. Oh man, my heart is fluttering just remembering when it all took off. We'd met on my mission, serving together once, but seeing each other at nearly every zone conference after that. Anyway, I called him about something in my area (he was the only missionary still in the field that had served in my area), and he teased me about something. I don't remember what. It doesn't matter. So he teased me and I replied, "You're going home next week! Who's going to tease me when you're gone?" a pause. "Soeur Barros, you can't get rid of me that easily." We wrote regularly for a transfer or two after he left. But I figured out that I wouldn't make him as happy as he deserved. It was sad. He was kind. Sweet. BEYOND thoughtful. One of the best mission friends I made. When I got home we talked about it. It just didn't work out. Dang it, he was GORGEOUS too. SOOOOOOOOO pretty in EVERY way. Sigh, my heart is fluttering again!
So I dreamt about him two nights ago. I dreamt that he was getting married in the next day, and I suddenly realized that I wanted to be with him. I intercepted him at a pre wedding activity and chatted with him about the upcoming nuptials. And then I did it. "I made a mistake." "You did?" "You're the one I'm supposed to be with. You're the one I love." He just looked at me. I mean, how would you react? I started to cry and said, "I know i can't have you, and that I can't deserve you, but... you need to know how I feel." He took my hands from my face and held them in his own. "Kacey... what do you expect me to do?" I started crying even harder, then woke up.
That dream has been in my head for two days. Mostly because I was sooooo SKANKY to try and steal a fiance like that! But here's the crazy part... I just saw on facebook that he got married. Yesterday.
I dreamt abouts tealing this guy the day before his wedding on the DAY before his WEDDING!!!
Kindaaaaaa cool/ creepy... if he was a girl, I'd be like, "Let me tell you this crazy dream!" But since he's NOT a girl. And NOT single. I'll keep this one to myself and the blog readers. Hmmm... maybe one of you will be able to figure out who it is. Reread my blog posts from my mission. Especially when I first got to France. Then maybe you'll figure it out. :)
Bref. C'est fini. Je suis fatigue. A bien tot.