Friday, May 14, 2010


Life is hard sometimes.
I hope no one cares, but this weeks letter is going to be kinda skimpy because I'm writing an email to you.
Today we did sealings after endowments because my (favorite) elders had never done them.  Well, guess what.  They took those elders and put them in another group.  So we didn't get to go with them.  But that was okay, because I sometimes (frequently) get distracted by them.  So as I was sitting there, I thought about how Dad got that impression that he would get married in the temple when he did sealings in the MTC.  So I thought "Cool.  Can i have that impression too?"  Uh.  No.  Apparently not.  Because I got two responses: yes you'll get married in this life.  And no, you won't.  WHAT THE HECK??????  I got all confused and thought "Are you telling me to not worry about it until after the mission?"  And the response to that was "No, that's not what I'm saying."  So I asked again, and I felt like I got an answer.  Like Grandpa Frank was sitting next to me and said "I saw you get married, Kacey.  You're going to get married.  I saw it; remember?"  But then I got doubts uber uber fast.  Can you get doubts in the temple???  Because I've decided, until it becomes clearer to me, that my answer is either "Wait a while and I'll answer you," or it's "it depends on you.  Make the right decisions and you will."  But that last one feels so incomplete. 
Can you get doubts in the temple?
Don't email me.  Write me a dear elder, because this is the last time I'm checking my email today.
I love you soooooooooooo much, and would do anything to have you here with me right now.  Because I'm confused.  And I don't like this feeling.  Because my mission isn't about marriage, but now I'm worried about it.
Okay.  Well.  Okay.
Love you

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