Okay. Here's the deal:
I am soooooo sick of people finding "nice" ways of saying I'm fat.
For those of you who haven't seen me since this summer (or earlier) I've gained about 20 lbs since, ehhh June? I can't remember. But I've been "I HAVE TO GRADUATE" girl all semester which has limited my active routines and increased my study snack food. Some days I hate how I look (who doesn't) but most days I'm like, "eh. I'm still hot."
But the other day, a good guy friend of mine used one of my least favorite fat euphemisms: larger. Larger? Honestly? Larger than what? A pinky toe? Size zero? What an ambiguous way to try and avoid offense! Well, I decided to forgive him and move on. HA HA! TONIGHT he used it SEVERAL times to describe me and others. I kinda flipped (thank goodness we were texting and he didn't see the look of murder on my face). And this is why I'm up at 1:45 a.m. (and to study. dangit.) posting a blog about being fat.
I KNOW I'M FAT!! I am SOOOOO aware of all the connotations that come with my weight!!!! I'm not stupid, and I'm not ugly either (I think that's a plus. Thanks to good genes for my decently cute face!). If you think by pretending (poorly) that I'm skinny you'll make me feel better, you won't. Maybe some people like it. But I don't. Why?
BECAUSE I THINK I'M STILL HOT, 20 POUNDS OR NOT. So, what I'm saying is SO WHAT IF I'M FAT?????
Why can't people compliment something else about me? Why can't they say "gosh, your eyes are so pretty," or "you dress so well." Why not? Why not reinforce good feelings about myself by being honest with me? I don't know about other fat people, but it really gets my goat when people try to convince me that I'm "just a little bigger than skinny" or, heaven forbid "larger."
Case in point: I have a roommate who I think honestly tries to be nice. Honestly. She just doesn't know how. So Tori and I were doing our hair in the vanity area, and Tori said something about being fat. Well, I am, and proud of it! Tori and I both think we're freaking sex goddesses, so there. But my poor, ignorant roommate says "You're not fat!"
Well, sorry but yes I am.
And why is that a bad thing?
I have better blood pressure than my ridiculously skinny aunt. Huh, even in the "dangerously" obese BMI range?
So, uh, fat doesn't necessarily mean unhealthy?? NEWSFLASH!!!!!
Anyway. That's my rant.
Sorry if I offended anyone, but these thoughts were keeping me awake. I'm sure later today I'll have a follow up based on the very same conversation with my guy friend on how unattractive and/or fat girls get the bloody short end of the stick on dating. Oh for criminy sakes...
Okay, I'm done for reals this time.
6 comments:
YOU MAKE ME SICK!!!
If you are fat I am morbidly obese.
But what ever helps you sleep.
Anywho... NO ONE... EVER!!! (ok maybe a doctor) should tell another human being that they are fat. not in anyway shape or form not larger, not big, not chubby, not bigger than skinny, not pleasently plump, NOTHING. I would not be that boys friend!!! That is just horrible.
Maybe it is becuase it is 1:46 AM, but I am apauled at this post.
Wait to be honest with yourself though, I am still in denial and I need to loose 50 lbs.
:)
ps - word verification for today butblisl. I find this interesting! Ponder that.
You know what, Kristen? I've decided you are right about some things, so I edited the post to only include myself. I don't think being the wieght and size that I am should be considered a bad thing. I refuse to accept it.
And I'm seriously considering slapping the boy who said that. It came about by me asking if I were ugly or unattractive. I just wanted to hear a "no." But I got some long explanation about how I'm not his type, but I'm somebody's type, and there are people out there who like "larger" girls. Hahaha. Awesome, right?
Three more weeks and I'm gone from this shallow pit of despair and I'll move on to ultimate singledom: a mission.
Kacey!!! OH my. I love you and love your rants. And I think your HOTT!!!
Way to rant. I agree that we should compliment people honestly. and the old if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all is always true. people always comment on my height. they say i look like a giraffe. i always wonder if they would like to be compared to a monkey, a hippo , or a hairy cow. not very flattering to be compared to any animal. i've also had many men and it continues (as of last sunday) tell me i shouldn't wear high heels 'cuz i'm already too tall. why should my height limit what fashions i choose to wear. i feel more feminine in high heels (sorry if it messes with your male ego!) and my husband is fine with the fact that i am an inch or so taller than him in heel so everybody else should back off!! i love when elder holland made the comment 'there is no optimum size' in one of his talks. way to go-now if everyone else would get a clue:) Hang in there beautiful!
Your awsome! I really love your confidence. Sorry if my comment before sounded mean, I was just making a point and I do love you!
I must say that I am enjoying reading your blog. I found your site from your mom's. You say things in a way that either amuse me to no end or hit me with their simple truth. Thanks for sharing! I was talking to Grandma a few days ago and was saying how sad I will be at this next reunion when you AND Michayla will not be there. You two are young, single, and tons of fun...like me, haha! You will be missed. I am so excited for you to go on a mission though. You are going to be an awesome missionary :)
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