I struggle to find the words that accurately describe my mental state. It's somewhere between ecstatic and flatlined. Half of me wants to call them all up and ask for the highest bidder. The other half of me would rather just wait , and pretend like I'll have things my way. I'll probably go with the latter.
The wind beats the volets against the window, making me feel like there is someone outside, trying to get in. And if I think too long, they actually will. I don't want them in. I want them gone.
I called for angels last night. The disturbing image ran through my head like a thief from a shop. It is quickly and quietly pursued. I don't know how to describe it without bringing it to mind, so I won't. I choose to ignore it.
Who I am now is different than who I was before. I can't describe how or why. I just know that I feel different. There are still very many thoughts and faults present, but... improvement has taken place. Changes have been brought about.
The pain starts at the base of my head and works its way out. Ouch.